Charisma: What is it?
What will it do for you?
By Dr.
Tony Alessandra
You're squirming in your seat, wondering if the next
speaker can possibly be less inspiring than the preceding
one, when, suddenly, the room falls silent. Looking
poised and confident, the next presenter smiles, then
begins.
Instantly,
it's clear that he's good:
His strong,
measured voice, his relaxed tone, his precisely articulated
and well-chosen words, even his classy but understated
appearance seem to fixate the crowd.
You think, "Wow! Who is this guy?" And then
you realize it's just not what he is saying, or how
he looks. It's his whole being.
As his voice and gestures signal that he's nearing
the high point of his remarks, you feel yourself soaring,
rationally as well as emotionally, along with the
ideas he presents so passionately...so much so that
you know you'd probably follow him to a convention
of cannibals if that's where he wanted to lead you.
This
guy has it!
Appeal
to Mind and Emotions
But what
does he have?
What do
real leaders have that can inspire you and draw you
to them, that can cause you perform beyond expectations
to accomplish their goals? Is it speaking well...or
being socially adroit...or projecting an attractive,
exciting image?
Actually, it's all that--and more.
For lack
of a better term, we often group such qualities under
the term charisma. I've been studying, teaching,
and writing about human behavior, especially in business,
for more than 20 years now. As a result, probably
like you, I know charisma when I see it...even if
it's sometimes hard to pinpoint. But here's my definition:
Charisma is the ability to positively influence others
by connecting with them physically, emotionally, and
intellectually.
In brief, it's what makes people like you and enjoy
being around you...even when they don't know much
about you. This personal magnetism can exist at the
level of mass movements--such as politicians and evangelists--or
in the small-scale encounters of everyday life, such
as the shop owner who makes you feel so comfortable
and valuable that you cheerfully drive a few extra
miles to her store.
I'm convinced that, contrary to popular wisdom, charisma
is not something you're born with, like having blue
eyes or brown eyes. Instead, I think our personalities
consist, let's say, of a series of containers, like
cups or glasses. Some are nearly empty, some brimming,
yet others are partially filled to varying degrees.
Together, they constitute our potential charisma.
If all the glasses were filled to the top, you'd be
so charismatic people would think you were a god...and
you'd probably think so, too. But nobody has a complete
set of totally full glasses, although some really
gifted people--JFK or, say, Churchill--may have come
close to this ideal. But, for most of us, the glasses
are filled a bit erratically, though we can add to
them.
Here, as I see them, are the seven main components
of charisma--or, the "glasses," if you will:
1.
Your silent message...
You
unconsciously send out signals to others. Maybe
you look them right in the eye, or maybe you stare
at your shoes when you talk. Perhaps you slump
your shoulders, or maybe you square them confidently.
You may fail to smile naturally or shake hands
firmly, or you might dress in a way that's not
you. All these shape your image and affect the
people you want to lead.
2.
Your persuasive talent...
No
idea, however great, ever gets anywhere until
it's adopted. Charismatic executives can distill
complex ideas into simple messages so that even
the guy who sweeps the floor understands what
the company stands for and why that's important.
3.
Your ability to speak well...
You
may have a zillion terrific ideas, but who will
know if you can't articulate them?
4.
Your listening skill...
Rarely
taught and infrequently practiced, listening is
nonetheless a key to communicating and making
others feel special in your presence.
5.
Your use of space and time...
Again,
though it's often overlooked, use of spatial and
temporal territories can make or break relationships.
6.
Your ability to adapt to others...
Building
rapport means understanding other people's personalities,
then adapting your own behavior to increase compatibility.
7.
Your vision, your ideas...
Regardless
of how strong and persuasive a speaker you are,
how adept you are at connecting with others, how
well you listen, use your space or time, or send
out silent signals, you've still got to have something
to say…or you'll just be an empty suit.
So, it's
not a single ingredient that makes a person charismatic,
and, more important, charisma isn't based on I.Q.,
genetics, social position, wealth, or luck. Instead,
it can be learned.
Why Charisma
Matters
Learning
to improve your charisma is more important than ever.
Why?
Change
calls for strong, mesmerizing leaders.
In our
age of start-ups, acquisitions, turnarounds, mergers,
de-mergers, new regulatory climates, and all other
sorts of rapid, unpredictable change, especially in
business, that's more true than ever.
Television
and our general emphasis on the visual make charismatic
people more effective. (Remember: The physical is
a big component of "the silent message"
glass.)
Our expectations
have risen. We've come to demand more from people
than mere competence. When even the local car dealer
or supermarket manager can be seen as articulate,
personable, and persuasive in a slick TV ad, we no
longer readily accept those who squirm, stumble over
their words, and don't quite look us in the eye.
The old-fashioned
kind of hierarchy, the command-and-control environment,
is passÈ. Even the highest-ranking officials
need more than their title to get people to accept
their ideas. Instead, in this era of "empowerment,"
when empathy and support are revered, charismatic
people stand out because they're communicators who
are able to see things from another's perspective
and, thus, continually seek to find the common ground.
Those
with personal magnetism, or charisma, are usually
self-confident optimists. Viewing almost all problems
as solvable--focusing on desired results rather than
possible failures--helps encourage people to step
forward and convert fear into challenge.
All of these are reasons for you to try to greatly
improve your charisma. In subsequent articles, I'll
give tips on how to raise the levels in each of your
seven charisma "glasses."
But, for now, remember that even if you never get
a chance to head a corporation, spearhead a movement
or even hold office in the local PTA, you can use
your charisma, present or future, to do good for yourself
and others, to make for positive change in ways large
and small.
Connecting
with People
A person
who develops his or her charisma is likely to do well
in all aspects of life. That's because, on several
different levels, they better connect with people.
By definition, the charismatic person is more other-directed,
more empathic. That gives them more personal power--and
that's a big plus for anybody.
Take basketball star Michael Jordan...
Certainly
one of the most charismatic athletes of recent times.
Despite being the most-heralded professional player
of his era, he quit the hardwoods to play minor-league
baseball for a time. He didn't make it to the big
leagues, but he didn't strike out with his millions
of fans, who may have thought his ill-starred tenure
with the Birmingham Barons made him, if anything,
more human.
As you seek to improve you charisma and personal power,
remember that when people feel someone is making them
do something, they're often frustrated and resentful--and
as a result, they dig in their heels. The truly charismatic
person, strives to create feelings of collaboration
and equality. They approach others interactively and
try to give them a choice.
Testing this doesn't require a big, important issue.
Everyday tasks will suffice. For example, saying "Copy
this report" is a mild form of coercion from
a position of power. But asking "Would you mind
copying this report?" or "Do you have time
to copy this report right now?" is more interactive.
Similarly, you can't successfully order employees
to "Be more productive!" or "Improve
your efficiency!" But you can organize them into
teams, for instance, or create suggestion systems
that really work, and give people more information
about the company's profits and losses.
In addition, recognize another person's achievements,
contributions, and particular skills. Catch someone
doing something right! And celebrate those successes.
Everyone wants to feel that they're on a winning team.
Be aggressively optimistic and willing to be the first
to do something and to take the heat if it doesn't
work out. Charismatic people have heard all the bromides
about why you can't rock the corporate boat ("We've
never done it that way before." "It's too
radical a change."), but they just pay less attention
to them.
Instead, they relish a challenge, not just for themselves
but for their followers, too, who wish to take risks
and be allowed to make some mistakes. So if you give
your people some control over resources and influence
over how to do a task, you'll help them build self-confidence.
In fact, the charismatic person often good-naturedly
challenges, prods and pokes as he or she encourages
others to stretch themselves. Again, take Michael
Jordan. He's said to, even in practice, be the loudest,
most demanding player on the court, goading the other
Bulls to give their all. It's his way of being inspirational;
he never stops competing, even when no one is keeping
score.
The potential to be charismatic leader is within you,
too. And...the payoff for doing so has never been
higher. 
END
