Tony Alessandra

Tony Alessandra

I thoroughly enjoyed your speech and found many new, useful ideas to use immediately in my business... That's a great presentation. Thanks!
--Rose Clayton

I wanted to pass along my personal thanks to you for speaking at our annual Program Manager's conference. All of the feedback that I received, both in person, as well as in writing, was overwhelmingly positive, and your talk was a big part of that! Thanks again, and I hope that we'll see you at a future Harris event.
--Amos Morse

Thank you for the kind words. Your presentation was the best of all outside presentations - everyone thought you were great! I look forward to the opportunity to put you in front of other clients of ours in the future.
--Jay

Tony's presentation had real impact. The points he made were not only relevant to our audience, they were delivered in a way to make them memorable and fun. It was great to have such an important topic delivered with punch as well as humor. His anecdotes were fabulous. Ask him about the pots and pans.
--Corrine Smith

Thanks so much for your presentation at NSA San Diego last week. It was the best combination of practical tips and inspiration that I have seen at an NSA meeting ever! Thanks again for your powerful message and willingness to spend so much time with those of us starting out.
--Jim Cartmill

Tony Alessandra

Welcome to this issue of "Dr. T's Timely Tips" by Dr. Tony Alessandra. Please send your feedback to info@alessandra.com!

Listen With Empathy

No matter how outrageous, inconsiderate, false, self-centered, or pompous the person you are talking to is, remember: He or she is simply trying to survive, just like you. We are all participating in the same physical and psychological struggle. Some of us just have better survival strategies than others. Thus, the obnoxious person deserves more pity than scorn. "The wounded deer leaps highest," Emily Dickinson wrote, and it is true.

So listening with empathy means asking yourself, "Where is this person's anger coming from?" "What is he or she asking for?" "What can I do that's reasonable and supportive?" You are not everyone's shrink, and you do not have to carry the weight of the world on your back. However, if you can think through what makes this person behave like this, perhaps you will be inclined to cut them a little slack.

Genuinely listening well is, at its heart, an act of love, and as such, may help heal.

Here's to more personal insight,

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Dr. Tony Alessandra, author of "Dr. T's Timely Tips", is available as a speaker for corporate and trade association meetings. Teleseminars and webinars are also available. Contact Holli Catchpole at SpeakersOffice: 1-800-222-4383 or Holli@SpeakersOffice.com

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Listen closely; Listen empathetically

When participating in a conversation - be it heated, friendly, or awkward - make sure you ask yourself questions to make sure you understand the other person fully.

Here are some sample questions to get you started:
"Where is this person's anger coming from?"
"What is this person asking for?"
"What can I do that is both reasonable and supportive?"

Listening empathically will help you better understand the other person. Your interaction will go smoothly, and you will both get what you want out of the conversation.

Wondering if your listening skills are up to par? Take the Listening Assessment and find out how you can be a better listener, and improve all of your communication!

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