Tony AlessandraThe ONLY Official Site to Book Tony for a Speech

I thoroughly enjoyed your speech and found many new, useful ideas to use immediately in my business... That's a great presentation. Thanks!
--Rose Clayton

I wanted to pass along my personal thanks to you for speaking at our annual Program Manager's conference. All of the feedback that I received, both in person, as well as in writing, was overwhelmingly positive, and your talk was a big part of that! Thanks again, and I hope that we'll see you at a future Harris event.
--Amos Morse

Thank you for the kind words. Your presentation was the best of all outside presentations - everyone thought you were great! I look forward to the opportunity to put you in front of other clients of ours in the future.
--Jay

Tony's presentation had real impact. The points he made were not only relevant to our audience, they were delivered in a way to make them memorable and fun. It was great to have such an important topic delivered with punch as well as humor. His anecdotes were fabulous. Ask him about the pots and pans.
--Corrine Smith

Thanks so much for your presentation at NSA San Diego last week. It was the best combination of practical tips and inspiration that I have seen at an NSA meeting ever! Thanks again for your powerful message and willingness to spend so much time with those of us starting out.
--Jim Cartmill

I'll see it when I believe it!

It has been estimated that we each have upwards of 50,000 thoughts per day. How many of yours are negative? Sometimes you have to do a mental spring-cleaning to get rid of those negative thoughts that have become ingrained attitudes. Stopping self-destructive thoughts is like stopping any other bad habit - it takes time and effort.

Among the most effective ways to do this are visualization and affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements about yourself that you repeat over and over in your head until they are programmed into your subconscious.

Visualization is mentally picturing yourself the way you want to be. You've heard the old saying "I'll believe it when I see it". Well, the reverse is also true: "I'll see it when I believe it!" Affirmations and visualizations may not feel true at first. They may not even be true! However, they can become so.

Consider what happens when you tell yourself repeatedly, "I'm lousy at remembering names." There will never be any improvement there. Therefore, if you catch yourself saying it, stop and immediately say to yourself, "I'm good at remembering names."

Consider the effect of telling yourself, "I'm feeling pretty good today." Or "I can lose ten pounds." Or "I am good at getting people to see things my way." Anything you say to yourself repeatedly will actually influence your reality.

Writing down your affirmations and putting them in some handy place - above your desk, on your bathroom mirror, on the dashboard of your car - will help keep them in mind as well as in sight. Use affirmations and visualizations to project what success will feel like and look like. Imagine, in as much detail as you possibly can, how you feel as the boss singles you out for exceeding your quota, or how the audience hangs on your every word during your speech, or how your confident presence causes heads to turn everywhere you go.

To enhance your charisma and persuasion (while making others feel good about themselves), you can apply the very same techniques by turning them outward. Begin thinking positive affirmations about people you work and live with.

For example, "Bob seems much calmer and patient of late. I wonder what has changed in him." During your next interaction with Bob, you will most likely remember your positive thought about him and start your conversation with, "Bob, I've noticed a change in you. You seem really kind and patient while counseling your new employees recently and I admire that. How did you acquire this wonderful characteristic?"

Bob would likely respond with a smile and a story about a book he found, a consultant he hired, or a seminar he attended. Regardless of his reply, you have sincerely complimented another person, put out a positive thought, and begun a new habit of approaching others using "appreciative inquiry"... finding the good in another person or situation first, instead of finding fault or flaws.

Criticizing is easy and sometimes becomes habit, but re-training your mind to find the positive attributes in yourself and others will win you friends, increase your income, and make you feel better about being a better you.