Welcome to this issue of "Dr. T's Timely Tips" by Dr. Tony Alessandra. Please send your feedback to DrTony@Assessments24x7.com!

Adapting to Each Style

It's important to be flexible in your relationships, especially when different scenarios call for distnict methods of adapting to others' styles.


Indirect and Open

How should you treat Relaters? They want warm and fuzzy relationships. You have to earn their trust before they will let you in. Support their feelings and show interest in every facet of their lives. Take things slow; they are relationship-oriented, but slow-paced. You should talk in terms of feelings, not facts, which is the opposite of your strategy for Thinkers.

Relaters don't want to ruffle feathers, so assure them that everyone around them will approve of their actions or decisions. Give them time to solicit the opinions of others. Never back a Relater into a corner. It is far more effective to apply warmth to get this chicken out of its egg than to crack the shell with a hammer.

With Relaters, in general, be non threatening and sincere.

Direct and Open

How should you treat Socializers? Socializers thrive on personal recognition, so pour it on when there's a reason. Support their ideas, goals, opinions, and dreams. Try not to argue with their pie-in-the-sky visions, get excited about them.

Socializers are social-butterflies, so be ready to flutter around with them. A strong presence, stimulating and entertaining conversation, jokes, and liveliness will win them over. They are people-oriented, so give them time to socialize. Avoid rushing into tasks.

Socializers are less reliable than others, so get all details and commitments in writing. Be clear and direct in your expectations of them. Give them incentives for performance, when possible, and check on them periodically to make sure they are on track.

With Socializers, in general, be interested in them.

Indirect and Guarded

How should you adapt to Thinkers? Thinkers are time-disciplined, so be sensitive to their time. They need details, so give them data. They are task-oriented, so don't expect to become their friend before doing business or working with them. That may develop later, but-unlike Socializers, it is not a prerequisite for Thinkers.

Support Thinkers in their organized, thoughtful approach to problems and tasks. Be systematic, logical, well-prepared, and exact with them. Give them time to make decisions and work on their own. In work groups, do not expect them to be leaders or outspoken contributors, but you can rely on them to conduct research, crunch numbers, and develop methods for the group.

Thinkers like to be complimented on their brain-power, so recognize their contributions in terms appropriate terms (efficiency, etc.). If appropriate, set guidelines and exact due dates for Thinkers. Allow them to talk in detail, as they are prone to do. If you ask a Thinker what time it is, s/he may explain how a clock works.

With Thinkers, in general, be thorough, well-prepared, detail-oriented, business-like, and patient.

Direct and Guarded

How should you treat Directors? Directors are very time-sensitive, so never waste their time. Be organized and prepared to work quickly. Get to the point and give them bottom-line information and options, with probabilities of success, if relevant. Give them written details to read at their leisure.

Directors are goal-oriented, so appeal to their sense of accomplishment. Stroke their egos by recognizing their ideas, and subtly reassure them of their power and prestige. Let Directors call the shots. If you disagree, argue with facts rather than feelings. When in groups, allow them to have their say because they are not the type who will take a back-seat to others.

With Directors, in general, be efficient and competent.


Here's to more personal insight,


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