Welcome to this issue of "Dr. T's Timely Tips" by Dr. Tony Alessandra. Please send your feedback to info@alessandra.com!

Acknowledge your fears to meet your goals

We all have objectives for our relationships -- make that sale, get the promotion, bargain down the price of that car, get a date -- and by communicating effectively, we can meet those objectives. By using your communication goals to your advantage, and recognizing your fears so you can minimize them, you can get what you want now -- and maintain your relationship for the future.

Indirect and Open

Steadiness and follow-through actions characterize Relaters. They prefer a slower and easier pace: "It's not whether you win or lose... it's the friendship that counts." They focus on building trust and getting acquainted because they aim for long-standing personal relationships. Pushy, aggressive behavior secretly irritates them.

Relaters strive for security. To Relaters, while the unknown may be an intriguing concept, they prefer to stick with what they already know and have experienced. They also fear change and disorganization. Any disruption in their routine patterns can cause distress in Relaters. They need to think and plan for changes. Finding the elements of sameness within those changes can help minimize their stress by identifying the specific assurances required to cope with such demands.
Direct and Open

Socializers want your admiration and thrive on acknowledgment, compliments, and applause. "It's not just whether you win or lose... it's how you look when you play the game." People's admiration and acceptance typically mean more to this type than to any other. If you don't talk about him, he may spend considerable time talking about his favorite subject -- himself -- to gain the acceptance he wants.

A Socializer's biggest fear is public humiliation -- whether appearing uninvolved, unattractive, unsuccessful, or unacceptable to others. These frightening forms of social rejection threaten the Socializer's core need for approval. Consequently, he may go to extremes to avoid public humiliation, lack of inclusion, or loss of social recognition.
Indirect and Guarded

Thinkers concern themselves more with content than with congratulations. They prefer involvement with the performance of products and services under specific -- and preferably controlled -- conditions, so the process and results can be correct. Since their primary concern is accuracy, human emotions may take a back seat with this type. After all, emotions are subjective and tend to distort objectivity.

Thinkers' biggest fears of uncontrolled emotions and irrational acts relate to their goals. More precisely, Thinkers fear that these illogical acts may prevent goal achievement. Similarly, they fear emotionality and irrationality in others. This type strives to avoid embarrassment, so they attempt to control both themselves and their emotions.
Direct and Guarded

Directors, driven by the inner need to lead and be in personal control, take charge of people and situations so they can reach their goals. Since their key need is achieving, they seek no-nonsense, bottom line results. Their motto is: "Lead, follow, or get out of the way." They want to win, so they may challenge people or rules. Similarly, Directors also accept challenges, take authority, and go headfirst into solving problems.

Closely related to Directors' goals are their fears: falling into a routine, being taken advantage of, and looking "soft." So they may go to extremes to prevent those fears from materializing. They may act impatient, but they make things happen.

Here's to more personal insight,


Advice to the underpaid professional.

Would you like to make more money in your job? Would you like to earn the undying loyalty of your boss -- and have more power over your salary and earning potential?

Who wouldn't, right?

In my 30+ years in the business world, I've noticed that the people who cash the biggest checks all have one amazing skill in common... they know how to deal with people. And not just people they like, but those real pains in the you-know-whats as well.

You might not know this, but it's your ability to build relationships and rapport with others that dictates your value to your company and ultimately controls the amount of zeros on your paycheck.

Of all the qualities and talents an employee could have, John D. Rockefeller said "People Skills" was the one quality he'd pay more than anything else for. Trust me: Your company feels the same way about you.

Right now you may think your people skills are perfect, but let me ask you this:

- Have you ever met a client, customer, or co-worker you just couldn't connect with?
- Have you ever been at a networking event or conference and experienced an awkward moment with someone you should be impressing?
- Have you ever made a joke in front of a prospect or client and sensed a little bit of shock? - Have you ever noticed that your natural communication style really irritates some people -- and maybe even ticks off your boss?

If you can answer "Yes" to any of these questions, I would say your People Skills definitely need some fine-tuning before you can expect to become a Big Time player and Top Earner in your organization.

Let's face it: To get paid the best, you must be the best. And having powerful People Skills may be the only ingredient you're missing right now.

The good news is, my New Relationship Strategies CD offers you a scientifically-proven system you can use to master People Skills, so you can build instant personal chemistry with anyone and capture people's loyalty and respect for life. It's six hours of the most powerful and entertaining audio content you will ever hear in your life.

New Relationship Strategies helps you unlock three keys to your success:

1. Understand your own personality and communication style so you leverage your strengths and avoid your weaknesses.

2. Identify other people's styles so you can treat them the way they want to be treated and get what you want as a result.

3. Know when and how to make tiny shifts to your own behavior so people feel warm and relaxed around you. (Within seconds of meeting someone, you can get them to rapidly develop a sense of openness and trust with you. Clients, customers, prospects will treat you like they've known you forever.)

Listening to New Relationship Strategies is perhaps the single most important career move you will ever make in your life. The skills you will learn on these CDs will be worth tens of thousands to you in your career. You will become 600 times more valuable to your company and your boss, which means they can't afford not to give you that raise. 

Complete satisfaction or your money back.

image_1 SPECIAL BONUS #1: As a Tip Subscriber, you can purchase these 6 high-quality CDs today for only $64.00. That's 20% off the regular price of $79.00 -- what everyone else pays on my website.

SPECIAL BONUS #2: Purchase my New Relationship Strategies CDs and you'll also receive a FREE copy of PeopleSmart, my 294-page eBook with hundreds of strategies and examples you can use to increase your personal power.

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