Welcome to this issue of "Dr. T's Timely Tips" by Dr. Tony Alessandra. Please send your feedback to info@alessandra.com!

You tend to gravitate towards people who are just like you

DIRECTORS and SOCIALIZERS naturally gravitate toward other outgoing people in social situations. They send out instant signals by how loud and how fast they talk, how quick they are to give an opinion, sometimes even by the kind of clothes they wear.

The next time you are at a party, watch -- you can almost see them being drawn together as if they were metal chips pulled by some giant magnet. They quickly size one another up and mentally decide, "There's somebody I can relate to. There's somebody like me!"

That is also true of the more reserved individuals, RELATERS and THINKERS. An unspoken, unseen bond immediately connects them. They seem to be able to spot one another at 90 paces -- maybe it's their body language, or their voices, or silent messages they send with their eyes. But, for sure, there is an undeniable comfort zone that attracts the like-minded.

For both outgoing and reserved types, there is this natural compatibility among their own kind -- and conversely, an innate tension between dissimilar types. Importantly, though, this usually differs -- sometimes even radically --depending on whether the people are just together socially, or working on a task. Rapport in social situations is no guarantee of rapport on tasks.


Here's to more personal insight,


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