Welcome to this issue of "Dr. T's Timely Tips" by Dr. Tony Alessandra. Please send your feedback to DrTony@Assessments24x7.com!

Plan your next party with the Platinum Rule!

So what happens when different personality types get together socially? Well, the four basic behavioral styles mix and match into ten combinations. Behavioral science research shows clearly which combinations -- prior to use of The Platinum Rule -- mesh or clash naturally.

For starters, people with similar tendencies are most compatible with one another socially. That is because those with common interests, habits, and approaches help reinforce each other's self-esteem.

Therefore, it will not surprise you to learn that the most naturally compatible combinations in social situations are:


Where, you ask, are the Directors? Well, they also tend to flock to one another -- at least for a while. However, they possess such a strong competitiveness that even the Director-Director relationship is not quite as naturally harmonious as the others are.

That pairing does, however, show up under the moderately compatible category:


Compatibility does not come quite as naturally in these cases. However, with effort, progress is possible and, in fact, success in working with less compatible individuals can be an esteem-builder in each case.

Directors and Socializers share an outward focus, and often, similar interests. Relaters and Thinkers, on the other hand, are both inward-oriented and may like the same kinds of activities.

Both Socializers and Relaters aspire to be in a supportive relationship. Usually, though, it is the Relater who is in the giving role and the Socializer who is the receiver.

Meanwhile, the fast-paced, extroverted Directors and Socializers commonly find it hard to develop rapport with the easygoing, quieter Relaters and Thinkers, who are less decisive and enthusiastic. And the Relaters and Thinkers, in turn, find the Directors less desirable because they're too pushy, too loud, and often demand too much of them.

Therefore, of all ten combinations, these three pairs are often the least compatible, socially:


To the Director, who just wants to get things done, and to the Socializer, who just wants to have fun, the cautious Thinker and steady Relaters can be drags. While Relaters often resign themselves to tolerate the forwardness of Directors and Socializers, the Thinker frequently just prefers to be alone.

What's more, even when relaxing, the Thinker wants to do all things right. Whether it is just grilling hot dogs, chatting about politics, or setting up the croquet wickets, the Thinker sets standards and judges himself and others by how they meet them. The Thinker, in the eyes of the Director or Socializer, is not living as much as he is just serving time. By and large, never the twain shall meet -- at least unless and until The Platinum Rule is practiced.

On the positive side, though, there is a fascination factor in these three pairings, and bridges can be built. Given positive energy, the natural differences can fuel attraction, particularly when one style sees what it can learn from another. A Director, for example, may see how he can become more patient and responsive to others by taking a cue from a Relater. A Relater, meanwhile, may be able to draw on the Director's strengths for taking charge and accepting risk.

Similarly, a sensitive Socializer can see how she can learn discretion from the Thinker, and the Thinker perceives that she can become more relaxed and sociable by being around the Socializer.

Perhaps the most difficult hurdles socially are posed by the Director-Thinker relationship. For it to work, both must yield their personal control needs, with the Director deciding to give the type of space the Thinker needs, and the Thinker learning to be much more direct and open about his concerns with the Director.

Once the Platinum Rule is taken into account, however, you can get along with anyone, regardless of the natural compatibility (or lack thereof) of your personality styles, because you can cater to their particular needs and desires. It just takes knowing the other person's personality and knowing what they want -- and giving it to them.

Here's to more personal insight,


If you like receiving Dr. T's Timely Tips, you'll love adding to or switching from this subscription to "One-to-One from A-to-Z" - an ezine that's customized to match your interests, goals and behavioral style. You'll receive fewer emails, but the ones you do receive will contain articles, tips, ideas and offers that perfectly match your personal and/or professional interests. Subscribing takes less than a minute and you may experience The Platinum Rule® firsthand by opting in here. We will treat you the way you want to be treated!

Dr. Tony Alessandra, author of "Dr. T's Timely Tips", is available as a speaker for corporate and trade association meetings. Teleseminars and webinars are also available. Contact Holli Catchpole at SpeakersOffice: 1-800-222-4383 or Holli@SpeakersOffice.com

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How to turn your whiners into winners... and other secrets to managing difficult people at work.

Yikes, who knew managing people would be so tough?

You have the employees who are great with data, but don't "get" the whole dealing with people thing. (The Thinkers).

Then you have the employees who are great with people, but are not so good at getting their work done and meeting their deadlines. (The Socializers).

Then you have those really nice employees who are polite and mean well, but just can't seem to get anything accomplished without your constant, hovering supervision. (The Relaters).

In addition, do not forget those bossy, occasionally whiney employees who are constantly correcting and criticizing every little thing you do... as if they're the ones in charge. (The Directors).

With so many different (and sometimes hostile) personalities to manage every day, no wonder you come home so stressed out and simply dreading tomorrow.

Here's how you can make your life so much easier...

What if I told you that in one day you could learn how to turn your most difficult employees and coworkers into the most productive members of your team?

How much easier would your life be if you never had to ask someone twice to get something done? How much easier would your life be if all of your people loved and adored you and would go to the ends of the earth to do anything you wanted?

You would say, "Sign me up" right?

Well, I have made it easy for you to have everything you dream of and more. In fact, if you're able to download MP3 files to your computer right now, you're already 95% of the way there.

My PeopleSmart MP3 audio program is a unique blend of scientific research on human behavior and my 30-plus years of teaching people smarts -- through the Platinum Rule.

Once you are exposed to these hands-on, proven and practical principles, you will find that you will have access to uncommon wisdom allowing you to:

* Become a more loved and effective boss
* Gain effortless cooperation of even the most difficult people
* Fascinate and influence your spouse and children
* Build quick rapport that creates lifelong relationships
* Get along with all types of people from every walk of life

In just 6 hours, PeopleSmart shows you how do this by helping you learn about your own Platinum Rule work personality style first. Then you learn quick and easy ways to identify the Platinum Rule work personality styles of others in your office. Finally, you learn how to adjust your behavior so that you become versatile, adaptable, and widely popular.

Learn to apply PeopleSmart and soon you unconsciously begin to draw out the best in everyone around you. You notice how easy it becomes for you to gain the trust and respect of even the most cynical people you meet.

Here is just a fraction of what I cover in these 6 power-packed MP3s:

* How to treat others the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated -- without being phony or underhanded.
* A description of each behavioral style to help you determine which one you are.
* How to identify other people's work styles -- from the way they speak and write to the way they dress at work
* How to get along with everyone at work, school, home -- anyone and anywhere.

As with all my products, you get my 100%, 90-day money-back guarantee when you purchase this product. If you don't like it, keep the MP3s and I'll refund your money immediately. You simply can't lose.

So go ahead, download PeopleSmart right now on your computer.

Please click here to purchase the PeopleSmart audio program as a downloadable MP3 series for $39.95.