Welcome to this issue of "Dr. T's Timely Tips" by Dr. Tony Alessandra. Please send your feedback to info@alessandra.com!

Adapt your compatibility to make working with others a breeze!

When it comes to tasks -- whether it's doing a project at work, purchasing a family car, or just balancing the checkbook -- the style pairings that work well socially don't necessarily work the same when it comes to getting things done.

Their similarities can get in the way because they have the same needs. After all, to complete a task, one must have resources, rewards, time, space, and attention. However, there is only so much of those to go around.

Therefore, when those needs are not met, tension and conflict can result. When one partner feels a need to win, for instance, the other one may sense he or she has been shortchanged. The frequent outcome: resentment.

However, before getting into which pairs clash, let's look at the most naturally compatible combinations task-wise:


See a pattern here? You bet! The Relater gets along with everybody in a task situation. He or she is the universal antidote for disharmony. It is the Relaters' most distinctive trait. They are supportive workers who exert a calming, stabilizing influence. Naturally interested in others and in making a contribution, they enjoy being productive partners. No wonder they are everybody's favorite.

The moderately compatible combinations, as far as working on tasks together, are:


Thinkers loom large in this second grouping. While not as easygoing as Relaters, they are sensitive to others' feelings and have a passion for excellence that others usually recognize.

Interestingly, Thinkers figure in many of the least compatible combinations socially, but among the highest in tasks. This suggests that others appreciate the quality and thoroughness of their work, even if the Thinkers are not always viewed as being a lot of laughs.

Last, come those combinations that are least compatible because they tend to see one another as competitors:


Director-Director combinations work fairly well socially, but when it comes to tasks, a Director's competitive nature and need for control can stymie cooperation, especially with like-minded Directors.

As for the Director-Thinker, there is a fundamental clash in the Director's need for speed and control versus the Thinker's penchant for being slower-paced and systematic.

While the Socializer-Socializer pair is among the most socially compatible, now they are likely to be the least productive as far as working together on tasks. That is because neither is motivated to deal with task details.

Similarly, Directors and Socializers also have moderately high social rapport but plummet to the lowest rungs of compatibility when tasks are involved. That is because they both tend to want to delegate.

However, do not give up yet on those whose personal style may not be a perfect fit with the situation. With some effort at understanding and applying The Platinum Rule, you can adapt your compatibility so that you can work successfully with anyone.

Here's to more personal insight,


image_1Develop charisma on your commute to work!

Have you ever noticed that when some people walk into a room, all heads turn? Or when some people speak, they captivate everyone around them. Moreover, how about the type of people who, when you shake their hand, you instantly trust them... believe them... and like them!

What is their secret? What do they have that most people don't? It is called... charisma -- undoubtedly one of the most desirable qualities in the world.

By developing charisma:
* You get far more respect than the average person!
* People seem to adore you without any effort on your part!
* You exude huge amounts of self-confidence and self-esteem!
* You seem extremely powerful without being intimidating!
* You put people at ease and make them feel understood!
* And you are able to easily get what you want, because people instinctively want to help you!

Now you can be the person everyone wants to be like!

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A royal example of the power of learned charisma and what it can do!

A classic example of someone who learned charisma and used it to flourish is the late Princess Diana. When she first arrived on the public scene as young Diana Spencer, she was a shy, awkward girl, with no presence at all.

But by learning how to maximize the aspects of her personality that had the most potential, she blossomed from "Shy Di" into an international icon. Beloved by millions around the world, the power of her presence went much deeper than her beauty, confidence, or title... and it enabled her to gain tremendous financial and media support for the humanitarian causes most important to her.

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Develop the single most advantageous skill in the world!

Whether you are running a corporation, a department, a classroom, a volunteer program, or a household, there is no skill more valuable than the ability to positively influence others. You already have the potential to be more charismatic. Once you unlock it, you will have an extraordinary edge in life shared only by a select few.

What are you waiting for?

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