Welcome to this issue of "Dr. T's Timely Tips" by Dr. Tony Alessandra. Please send your feedback to info@alessandra.com!

Abstain From Judging

As someone once advised, "Grow antennae, not horns." If you prejudge someone as shallow, crazy, or ill informed, you automatically cease paying attention to what they say. So a basic rule of listening is to judge only after you have heard and evaluated what they say. Do not jump to conclusions based on how they look, or what you have heard about them, or whether they are nervous.

In fact, a good exercise would be to go out of your way to listen to a difficult speaker. Maybe he talks with a thick accent. Or talks much more rapidly, or more slowly, than you, or uses a lot of big words. Whatever difficulty this speaker poses, seize it as an opportunity not to prejudge but to practice your listening skills. Given some time, you will become more comfortable and effective in listening to diverse styles.

Here's to more personal insight,


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Don't Judge a Book by its Cover!

Don't:
- Jump to conclusions on how a person looks
- Form opinions about a person on what you have heard others say
- Assume anything about a person until you have evaluated what he or she has said

Do:
- Go out of your way to listen to a difficult speaker.
- Pay attention to a person's words and not his or her style of dress or hair.
- "Grow antennae, not horns."